


Tread Softly: Five Ways that SG1 break Cameron Mitchell's heart.

by elliejane



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-07
Updated: 2013-12-07
Packaged: 2018-01-03 22:25:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1073761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elliejane/pseuds/elliejane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written as part of the "Five Things..." meme. </p><p>The title speaks for itself. Five ways in which Cameron gets his heart broken. But don't (totally) despair; this isn't fluffy fic, but it isn't "darkfic" either. Character death, yes, but I've been told it's worth reading to the end.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tread Softly: Five Ways that SG1 break Cameron Mitchell's heart.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on LJ back on September 5th, 2006.

1\. **Only my dreams.**

It's not really that long after Cameron Mitchell pulls them all back together that they stop and pause, and decide it's a mistake. _He's a mistake._ By all accounts, they'd led a delegation to General Landry and if Cameron's reading between the lines correctly, O'Neill was there by speakerphone. He doesn't know if SG1's former leader would have supported him or backed his old team, but whatever happened, the result is the same.

It's all couched in the appropriate language, citing the belief that his abilities would be better suited in an alternative posting and in the end the regrets of General Landry that leading SG1 _just hadn't worked out._

Cameron is dazed. Feels empty and angry at the same time. Maybe a little betrayed by the people whom he values so much. Sees his dreams swirling down the drain. They offer him his choice of other postings - apparently O'Neill's offer of whatever he wants still stands. _Just not SG1_. He numbly agrees to take the rest of the week to sort out his options and walks out of an office he knows he'll never see the inside of again.

He passes Jackson in the corridor on his way to the elevator and Daniel lets his stride stutter and uncomfortably shoves his glasses further up his nose.

"Ah, Mitchell..." For a man well versed in words, he doesn't have a thing to say.

Cameron doesn't even blink and waits until he's riding up to the surface, floor by condemning floor, before the cracks start to show. He scrubs a hand across his face and wonders what he did wrong. Where he didn't measure up.

He'd wanted to save the world - heck, the galaxy - and he'd wanted to do it as part of SG1. Now Daniel Jackson won't look him in the eye, and he figures it'll be too painful to see Sam any time soon. He realises he'll probably never see Teal'c ever again. He wonders if O'Neill (he'd never get to call him Jack over a beer) is disappointed in him.

The dream is over. It _'s all over._

He's in his jeep and out of the mountain for good before he lets the cracks  
reach the inside.

 

 

2\. **I have spread my dreams under your feet.**

Sam lets it slip one day, over dessert, over blue jello.

Cameron is striding with a tray towards the canteen table where the three other members of SG1 sit. They aren't expecting him to join them; he's been off base for a few days and he's back early. He makes his way through the tables, figuring he'll sneak up and surprise them, and feels a rush of affection for the team.

They're talking animatedly (well, Teal'c is more impassive than anything, but Cam swears he sees an eyebrow twitch) with Sam reciting some exploit or other with a blinding bright smile on her face. Jackson is sitting across from her, he's smiling a bit at her, nodding here and there, rebutting an assertion and then turning to Teal'c for back up.

"No, no, Jack said...what was it...uh...he asked me what the translation said, and I said...." Daniel trails off, thinking hard.

Sam breaks into a series of giggles. Wiping her eyes with one hand she sighs.

"Oh, I miss him being on the team, you know. It was never the same once he made General. And now..." she shrugs.

Jackson mirrors the movement. Frowns. "Mitchell's...well..."

Sam wipes at her eyes again and takes up a scoop of jello. Her voice is lower now, but Cameron can still hear, as he nears the table. "I don't know what he was thinking, coming here, trying to do this. It's not going to work. He'll never be..." she bites her lip.

"...Jack," supplies Daniel.

"No." Sam sighs quietly. "No, he'll never be Jack."

Cameron thinks dully, but _I never wanted to be Jack._

His tray has titled in his unsteady grip and the bowl of jello slides and tips onto the floor. The bowl smashes into pieces at his feet and Cameron gets red jello on his boots.

 

3\. **The light and the half-light.**

Cameron Mitchell is flying. Through the air. When he hits the ground, he rolls twice and then ends up flat on his back in the grass and mud. He tries to scramble up but his body doesn't like that idea. When he moves any muscle there's a screaming hot pain in his side. A second later he sees Carter's worried face above him and then, even though he doesn't remember closing his eyes, the world fades to black.

When he wakes up he thinks he's flying again but there isn’t a sensation of movement, just a lightness of feeling, a lightness of body. _A lightness in his head._

His vision is blurry but he can still see Sam. Shouting urgently to Jackson, ripping off her pack and bending her head close to his. Two fingers at his neck to check for a pulse.

"Daniel, I think we're losing him!" Jackson is busy on the radio, calling for back up. At least, Cam hopes he is. SG9 had been holding the gate. They were no more than 30 minutes away. Cam wonders if he should be worried that he can't remember who was shooting at them.

Then he wonders if he should be worried that he can see Sam and Jackson from the wrong angle.

He can see Teal'c over at the edge of the trees, staff weapon in full blast, sending bolts of fire into the enemy. Can see Jackson firing bullets into a thicket and can hear the cries that means he's hit target. Can see Vala, crouched over his own body like a determined lioness defending her cubs. He almost has to laugh at _that_ thought.

Cameron can see that his own eyes are closed, his face is deathly pale and there's blood seeping into his BDU's just above his hip.

He's flying again, he thinks with amusement, 'cept this is more like floating. This is...well, he's pretty sure this can't be good.

The world fades away for a while, and then swims back into view. Jackson is at his side, now, hands rhythmically pumping against his chest, one onethousand, two onethousand, three onethousand...keeps going, keeps going then stops and looks at Sam.

Sam is pinching his nose and has her mouth on Cameron's, breathing deep then breathing out, into him. There's mud on her face and a grim look in her eyes. _Water in her eyes._

_Hey, Sam don't cry..._

Jackson looks up and catches Vala's eyes. She tries the radio again, and this time Cameron can hear the disjointed response.

_#Cut off from the gate...taking fire...#_

Vala looks back up at Daniel and Cameron sees that her face is muddy with blades of grass sticking to her temple. Tracks of tears have streaked her cheeks, rivulets through the mud.

_Hey, Vala..._

"Sam." Daniel's voice is soft, despite the sporadic gun fire from the trees. "Sam, it's been twenty minutes and he's still not breathing."

_Twenty minutes...fuck._

Sam is still breathing for Cameron, still mouth to mouth.

"Dammit, Daniel, I'm not letting him go! He's come too far, he's done too much to get shot down by the local militants in a field."

Vala wipes at her face, looks at Daniel, looks obstinate. "Mitchell told me you'd died countless times. Don't believe Daniel's dead, he said, even if you send flowers to the wake."

"Vala!" Daniel's tone is a warning.

"Well, he did! He said that!"

"Vala, this is different...this is..."

"We can't just let him die!"

Sam is looking pale under the smears of mud and she sits up on her heels, breathing shakily.

"Daniel, trade off with me." Jackson, doesn't move for a moment, then sighs and changes places.

The world is fading before Cameron's eyes again, paling this time, a warm white light suffusing his view.

_Hey, hey! Don't leave me like this...don't...! I'm not ready..._

Sam is openly crying now, trying to make his heart beat.

And Cameron can't help her. Cameron can't stop this. He can feel himself drifting away, melting into the light. He wonders briefly if he could get ascended, wonders if this whole thing could be the start of something glowy.

But he's no Ancient and he's not that special. Just a flyboy with a hankering for adventure. A flyboy who flew a bit too close to the sun and who died in an alien field, on an alien planet. Leaving a team he loves. Leaving the life of his dreams.

_Sorry, for dying on you, Sam. So sorry. Sorry, Daniel. Sorry, Teal'c. Sorry, Vala._

_Send me flowers, guys, ok? Send me flowers..._

 

 

4\. **The dark cloths of night.**  
  
Lieutenant Colonel Cameron Mitchell is wearing his dress blues, starched and creased just right. Every button shined. The podium is at the top of the gate ramp and as he makes the long trek up, he wonders if he'll get the words right. There are several speakers at this thing, and Cameron had really, really not thought he'd be one of them. He's not sure he has the right words, at all.

Other members of the SGC line the ramp. The gateroom itself is full. General Landry stands at the top on the left, with General O'Neill on the other side. The president's representative stands next to Landry. Master Bra'tac stands next to O'Neill.

Mitchell reaches the top and dares a quick glance at O'Neill. The man's face is impassive, carved from granite. His gaze is fixed on a distant spot, past Cameron's shoulder. Cameron breathes deep and moves slowly behind the podium. He shifts his weight heavily, lets go of the crutch under his left arm and leans it on the lectern. His notes are there, in front of him, but he doesn't know if he can see clearly enough to read them. He looks up, at the sea of faces. Clears his throat.

"When I joined SG1, I was looking for a legend. I had read many mission reports, knew of the dangers they faced every time they stepped through the gate. Knew of amazing things they'd accomplished. But nothing could prepare me for the experience of being in the team. They were the bravest, most resourceful, courageous people I could ever have hoped to serve with. They did extraordinary things under extraordinary circumstances. I am proud to...to have..."

His voice breaks and his heart breaks; Cameron Mitchell will never be the same again. They had been extraordinary. He hadn't deserved them. He hadn't saved them. Teal'c had carried Sam back through the gate before collapsing for good. Cameron had dragged himself through with a mangled leg, shooting desperate return fire. Sam had ended up DOA. Jackson's body had never been found. He doesn't think O'Neill will ever forgive him.

Cameron swallows hard. He ducks his head and tries to pull himself together. His heart beats erratically in his chest and he clutches at the podium, waves of dizziness coming over him. He tries to read the notes again, but his eyes are too wet, the words too blurred.

"I..." he stops. Can't go on.

Then he feels a heavy touch on his shoulder.

"Mitchell." O'Neill looks at him. His eyes are dry, but Cameron shivers that they look so full of grief. "They went out doing what they had always done. What we always did. We knew the risks."

Cameron closes his eyes. O'Neill leans in closer. Whispers. "Not your fault, Mitchell. Not your fault."

Cameron looks back up, focuses on the glass window of the control room and pretends he can see the outlines of Sam and Jackson and Teal'c standing there, waiting for him to step through the gate.

He doesn't stop the tears. "I went looking for a legend. _I found it."_

 

 

5\. **Tread softly, because you tread on my dreams.**

He's breathless, like a kid and he knows it. Sam turns, smiling indulgently and knows it, too. Each time he goes through the gate is like the first. He stops in front of the event horizon, looks over at her and grins.

She grins back and leans in toward him to whisper. "You wanna know a secret?"

He crooks an eyebrow at her, leans a little as well. "Ok?"

She takes hold of his hand and pulls him recklessly into the wormhole after her.

 _"It never gets less fun!"_ she yells.

And Cameron Mitchell thinks his heart might break, it's so full up with happiness.

_Fin_

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter headings taken from  
> "He wishes for the cloths of heaven."  
> By William Butler Yeats
> 
> Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths,  
> Enwrought with golden and silver light,  
> The blue and the dim and the dark cloths  
> Of night and light and the half-light,  
> I would spread the cloths under your feet:  
> But I, being poor, have only my dreams;  
> I have spread my dreams under your feet;  
> Tread softly, because you tread on my dreams.


End file.
